free book"the despair is not giant"











The despair is  not gaint




    



the despair opens the hope





mohamad safaan






 The despair
He came as a drunk
He limped and tottered
He talked indistinct
He said," I am the strongest
I have that world
The people are my slaves
Every day, the money I give
A lot of it, I can’t count
 I have many horses
The cars fill the horizon
 And I am the emperor”
He heard the plaint
He stopped and looked
Thinking that was a ghost
Or it might be a giant
He walked slowly
He still tottered
He saw a ghost
He tried to run
He heard a female
He said that I want
He ran as he could
He approached, approached
He said," You are my want
We will spend time for love”
She said," I am old
I couldn’t do that
Let me alone
You’re like my son”
He said,'' You are my love
I will show you
How do you do that?
We will go home
And show your side
Learning you the right
Of doing love”
She said," Damned you
Damned your side
You are the worst one
Not like my son”
He said," Let your son
Let us do it at once”
He stretched his arms
She screamed and bit him
He tried to get rid
He lately felt it
He screamed very loud
She left her stick
She hurt at his head
He tried to run
He fell to the land
He dropped static
She thought he got dead
She carried water
She threw with fear
He moved tardily
She thanked her God
As he opened his eyes
Saying, “Damned you mom
Why do you do that?”
Why do you make me waked?
I wanted to forget
The world, the time and the love
The woman and the tough
Love that makes us slaves
It takes not gives
It teaches us the hate
How to kidnap the love
Even we don’t deserve”
She said," Oh, my son!
Your lover let you
You may know
That may be good
For her and you”
He said," You say so,
I will go the river
To throw mine deeper
To get rid of that manner”
She said," So, I will go with you
My son did with me
Like yours, do you know?”
He said," You loved your son!”
She said," Damned you
I loved him as I am mom”
She talked and went on,"
He loved a lady
They wanted to marry
They wanted a place to stay
They searched every where
There is no way
I let them live with me
They lived in peace
She told him to evicted me
He told me we will go
For a trip at free place
And let me at house
Of old people as me
They still paid the money
Till they annoyed in a way
And stopped of paying
Making the manger told me
To get out and be away
I got my bags
And stayed here for years”
Chapter 2
He said," You will come with me
To fall ourselves there
Come, come with me”
They went in slow
And they stood at the wall
They are ready to throw
She said in sure,''
Let me say to you



Come and tell me
More about your love
She pushed him away
Saying,” Tell me and say”
He was crying, crying
He said,'' Why don’t you
Let me throw mine
Let me, let me die
Damned you damned you
You are awful, mom
I'd to kill you
Then I’ll kill mine
That’s good for you
And help mine”
The police car came and hurried
The officer was out
She told him he was her son
And wanted to throw her
And through his, there
To get rid of her
Of that awful world”
The officer said,''
Do you want to arrest him?
Till we cured him”
She said," Let us go home
And I will look after him”
The man said," She is a liar
I am not her son”
She said," He got drunk
He said," What doesn't he grasp?”
He cried at loud”
He said," She is a liar
Talking more in useless”
"So if you are faith
We will take you at once
And arrested her
And you will be caught
For hours, days or years”
The officer said in anger
He said, “No! Officer, please!”
They were carried to his house
He entered and let her inside
He slept in deep with sound
Of his high snoring
That made her annoyed
And couldn't sleep a lot
She waked up early
And he was also early
He said in annoying,
“I don’t wake up early
I don’t water the garden
Or distribute the newspaper"
She said in anger"
What do you work?
All of them are better
At everything and matter”
He said, "It is not your business
Go out without late”
She said, "With that speed
Without getting feed”
He said, “What?”
She said, “I am your guest!”
They ate and she said"
Get these in order!
They are in bad manner”
He said, “What? You had said
You will be out
After you had breakfast”
She said," Yes!
After getting things in order”
She said, “Now, see me
What do you work?”
He said “Out, out'' At loud!”
The officer was passing
He entered and greeted
He said. "Mom, that son had annoyed
If he did, he will be arrested” 
The officer continued, “
I passed by yours
And said come to say my mom
We will consider every nut

Your son had caused
A problem that is complicated
We will try to solve it
If you were annoyed”

Chapter 3
He went away with that word
The guy was full of anger
He said," What do you want?’
She said," One demand!
I want stay for months
To search for a place
Can you accept or refuse “
He said “months
Those are great periods”
She said, “So I will call that officer”
He said, “No, that is awful
I will accept you at all
For only that time”
She said, “So, now search for a work”
He said, “What work!
I don’t have a work
And I have no hope!”
She said, “If you have no hope
Let yourself dead at good
Die as a rich
Is best than poor."
He said in laughter,
“Means I will bury at the rosy
If I die having money
And I will bury at the muddy
If I die without money
Die means die
Vanish”
She said “hush,
If I will live here
You must have enough money
To spend and live with happy!”
He said, “Happy for whom?
Do you know?
I have not any hope
I want to die at a moment”
She interrupted, '' So,
Let me have money
To live without any misery
So let us think
What is the work?
Have you a dark”
He laughed and replied “
You will make a scene for horrible
You are completely suitable
Your shape, cloths and voice
You have a fear than ghosts”
She said, “God, may forgive stupid
Now, tell! Have you a dark “
He said,” What?”
She said,” Tell me, without late!”
He said yes, small room
Can it be dark?”
She said, “So, go to buy crow’s nest
We will plant it”
He said, “Awful, you will got bad”
She said, “Bad! It makes good
Go and I will show you!”
He said, “No, I will not!”
She said, “So, I will buy it”
She went and returned
He decided not to open
But he saw before the window
The officer came and carried her bringing
He opened the door with making
Smile at his solid face
He said, “Mom, welcome, again!”
The officer said, “I saw her buying
When I was at mission for looking
For criminals who were wanting
I decided to return after buying “
He said, “Oh! Criminals must be escaped!”
The officer said, “No, I stopped the escaping
Till my return “
He said, “What?”
The officer said “Yes, she helped us
She put her stick
Under the boss’ leg
He fell to the earth
He was caught at once”
He said, “And his fellows?”
The officer said, “She helped us!
She stroke one of them
Over his head
He jumped as a mad
Everyone thought her stick was blessed
They were surrendered”
He smiled with strong and said,
“So you reached here!”
The officer said, “Look! My son!
If you annoyed her
You will get your deserve”
The officer went
 Chapter 4
She prepared the plane 

She said her order
The guy went
When he returned
He saw the home in order
He was astonished
He saw the lunch was made
He smiled in spite of his want
And said with great happy,"
By whom had the lunch been made?”  
She said with great fun
“Guess!”
He said, “You! “
She said,” How?
I am an old one
I can’t do that”
He said with argument
 “Please!”
She said, “Your neighbor!
The deaf girl”
He said,” But she always screamed
How can you understand?
She always screamed
Her sound is aloud
She moved her hands like a painter”
She said, “Yes, yes, yes
But I can understand
We can talk and understand
I will show you”
She went to her
They came after moment
When the deaf girl saw
She screamed aloud
He wondered at first
The old woman said, “
She is anger
By your bad temper
You always dealt at manner
Of rude and worst”
He amazed and said,
” She told those by this movement”
She said wait,
She moved her hands
The deaf did her respond by hands
She said, “She accepted your invite
Her at your lunch”
He said, “What? “In anger
She said, “She prepared and bought
All these things”
He said, “So, I ate by sweat of deaf”
She said “What a matter of deaf
She is a kind and brave
She prevent a thief
Of attacking her home
By screaming and striking
Directly at his face”
The girl went and angered
The old ordered with hard
“Go, don’t return alone”
He hurried and returned soon
He was smile and said
“I moved my lips
By saying, “I am sorry
I can’t understand easily”
She moved her hands
She smiled and came”
The old moved her hands
She moved also her hands
The moment said with laugh
She said, “You are tough
You are stupid enough!”
He stopped and said, “Daughter of!..... ”
He old woman interrupted
“Sit without a word “
The deaf went to run
She moved her hands
The deaf sat with smile
They ate all together
The deaf lifted the dishes
He was ordered to help
They were smiled
They both washed the dishes
They cleaned and ordered
They sat and talked
They drank tea with milk
The deaf walked to sleep
The old said, “
The deaf knew you
She studied you
She loved you”
He said and amazed
“What? That?”

 
   
The old woman said “yes”
He laughed with mocking
He said with looking
At her with anger
“Who are you?
Do you know me?
Why do you stick me?
I don’t want you
Be away from me”
The deaf came and looked
The old was crying
She hanged her closely
She screamed at him highly
He turned his face suddenly
And laughed at her screaming
She wanted to take her
For short walk abroad
The man regretted and apologized
She said, “I will go after month”
He said “No, month is fare
I’d like to be near
If it can be morning
It will be good morning! “
The old woman was crying
The deaf took her away
And screamed at him loudly
She closed her door
The youth felt worst
He ran so fast
He said ‘I am bad
Stay as you want “
The deaf screamed so loud
He wondered what she wanted.
The woman told she liked
Him to kiss her hand
He said,” What?”
The deaf cried at loud
He said, “What?”
The old said,'' I am not as yours
You did every faults”
He said “What?
I will have done!”
He bowed and waited
The deaf screamed
He said, “What?”
She said, “If you do not!
She will take me at once
, You will not see my face
Forever as you wish”
He thought and felt with sting
He felt as he was sinking
He felt as he did a fault
He said, “Sorry, softly!”
He repeated, “I am sorry!”
He kissed her hand
He wanted to kiss the deaf hand
The old hurt at his back
With slightly hit with the stick.
She smiled and said
“Now go and buy some crow’s nest
He said, “No, it is awful!”
She said, “Do what I said?”
  

And came without late


    




He bought and returned
He went to sleep
He dreamt as he was rich
He had every wish
He became so famed
His car was so luxurious
  His suite was so beauteous
His smell was far
Carrying best attar
His fans were more
He saw beauties here
They were around him
But from all of them
He found only one
That was loved by his
His mind knew her
His heart calling her
She came from a wide
Like a ghost that appeared
Slowly, slowly as a dawn
What has happened?
His mind knows what?
What did he see? What?
She is, no, the deaf
She appeared by his
His eyes opened wide
His heart trembled loud
His chest moved a lot
His heart trembled hard
And he said at loud
This is my only love

Chapter 5
She was in fact the deaf
No, he must not give
Surrender to that sense
He was a business
He was ordered by several
To sell the products
He sold with a price
He mentioned with fixed
He was suddenly awaken
By sound of old one,"
Get up, to sell those."
He wake with anger
He wanted to shout
He said with sound
That may or not be heard,
"Why do not you be absent?
Several months has been gone
And you still stay with bad"
She smiled was sort of sad
He was ordered to collect the harvest
When he was up
He found her up
He noticed she was charm
His heart said,' Move to hers!"
His eyes said with obvious,
Bright as the sun rays,"
Say, say to her a word"
His hand was ordered to move
His tongue wanted to talk
To say a lovely word
The current was touched
Between two hearts with contact
The heat was born
Her checks turned to red
He found hers
He looked with constant
She did love indeed
From the deepest heart
Since several years
But for her nation
It is prevented for a girl
She loved smart as him
To tell him sense to him 
It is considered
She lost her respect
To herself, to herself only
He heard the old sound
Said with movement hand,''
Do and collect the harvest?"
But they didn't respond
They moved at each other
They moved with constant
They moved with a talk
Getting from a heart
Showing by the eyes
Feeling by their bodies
Reflecting at their faces
They met by crashing
They met by hanging
They met with a kiss
The old did a sound of gladness,"
You must marry at once!"
The joy covered the presence
And they became from this
Husband and wife by this
Word he had said
The presents were Witnesses
 
They became as one partner
 
From that Time and forever
But when they searched for an old
They found no one 
  

      
They searched for her
They searched everywhere
They returned with empty hands
They found only dreams
They filled with sadness
Till he was passed
To sell his products
He found the police car stopped
The officer with smile got
He said here is your mom
The guy cried a lot
He kneeled and kissed her hand
They returned home
The happy flew over there
The days passed dear
Memories were gotten everywhere 
At once, the deaf was absent
When she went to the market
They searched for her
They found nothing
Till, the door was knocked
One entered with hurried
She said with sadness
"The deaf one was found
Lying beside some walls
She was very ill
She asked to see you at once

Chapter 6

She wrote your names
And told us your address
They went at speed
They found her in bad
They learnt what she had
She got very ill
The ill was so advanced
The doctor found her at bad
After she got crashed
By mad car driven by mad
They looked at hers
She still had an angel face
Her beauty were so shine
The entire music still heard
Her sweet soul were done
They felt it as it was played
She slowly opened her eyes
She could finally smile
The roses at end were colored
With beauty refulgent
She moved her hands in slow sound,
"How, how had you found
Me after all days?
After my absence!"
He tried to hide his tears
He said with shaking hands
"The moon could disappear
Who can prevent the sun rays?
We are happy to get you again
How you imagine we can bear
Your absence for days
The seconds was counted as years
When you away!"
The old moved hands with sad"
You will be cured
You will return to your past
Play, shout, and collect
More wealth and will not talk
Or recognize me as I am poor"
She smiled and suffered with pains
Then she lost her conscious
They hurried to the doctors
The pains covered them
The pain got them sick
They got very troubled
They could not talk
Then, they collected their brave
"What had she got?", said the man
The doctor said", she got ill
Her sick was late
And the cure was rare"
He felt unconscious
He was carried to wake
He was very weak
The old woman said!
"Oh! My hero wake up!"
He couldn't be waked
He was carried to intensive care
They did more trials
Then he could be waked
He stopped in hard
He wanted to move
And see her again.
The old woman tried to slow
He insisted to go
They stopped at her room
They found no one at
The servant came with sad
He said," Your relative is dead"
Chapter 7
          
 
They couldn't talk
The old screamed
She lay at land
She lost her hope
She found all black
The man was locked
His legs were stopped
He bent to the wall
He couldn't talk
The servant ran
The nurse suddenly
Came with a smile
He said," Oh! Awful lady
The world has dummy
She laughed and we are sorry!"  
She said, "Your wife is here
She will complete cure here!"
The man looked with astonishment
He looked as he had a punishment
He looked like a mad
Losing his mind
Saying with hesitate
You mean mine.
She still alive!"
She said," Yes, she is'!"
He was happy
Like a child found his mummy
After long time of unhappy
That she might be in a way
Absence and be away
Who can return the lost?
Who can after long absent?
He walked as the old
She walked with crying
He said "Don't do!
We must go
She is alive
Still have life"
They entered hers
Her bright with there
Her face was shine
Her smiled was increased
But she still had sad
She moved her hands
They moved toward
Like a fast wind
She told by hands,
"I still have life
My age is tall
Than any tall"
She smiled a lot
But the sad is appeared
Like a wave at bad
She looked very sad
She bit her lips
From suffering pains
She shacked a lot
She asked them
To catch her hands
They were squeezed
She screamed with trying
To low her sounds
She hanged their hands strong
She put them at her chest
Her fingers grasped hard
They felt their blood
Move slowly at her hand
It converted to color
Of dark blue
They knew she suffered
They went to get their hands
Free to get a help
She hanged them strong
And finally they saw her bright
She untied her fingers
Her smile increased in bright
Then her tooth appeared at white
Then she went, went
She had dead.
 
 
Chapter 8
 They felt with dizziness
What did they get?
They felt with lack of sense
They couldn't talk
They actually see the world
Wearing every black
The mountain was carried
Over their weaken back
They felt with horrible attack
Was come from every side
Anything was seen
Enormous at every tiny
The fly looked as mythical
The day was like the night
It looked very dark
There is no sign for light
Everything is awful
The world became horrible
And no kind can be
Why did our hearts suffer?
While everything became darker
The dark appeared with danger
As terror couldn't be changed
The mind sound can be heard
The evil sound is loud
Who can change the fate?
Now, the time to be out
Of the world, the day and the sign
Who bear those knocks
Led him to a horrible?
The old was stopped
She stepped toward him
Saying with kind,
" Don't be sad"
He looked at her
She still cried and said, "
Be patient, man!"
He said, " I don't want any help
I do not want any advice
Don't show me your face
Go, go and don't return"
The only woman cried
She heard her heart was divided
She moved so slowly
As she felt she carried the world
Over her weaken back
They didn't go together
Man on side


The old at the other
After their lover was buried
They went on different sides
She went to her ancient
Beside the entrance of a building
He went also to the ancient
Beside the famous river
He stopped at the edge
Preparing to fell in
His life was not important
He felt as unimportant

    

Chapter 9      
He went to the edge
He looked downward
He heard a whisper
Come under in deeper
Beyond, beyond his legs
Saw her face at brilliant
Looked with her elegant
Moving her two hands
Asking about his health
Telling she was good
She was cured of pains
She leaves up at heaven
The sky was all fallen
With stars that was shown
At great photo of  love
She felt those over enough
The sign, the symbol is love
She felt with happiness
The suffering was tough,
But, there was not suffer above
The love governed above
The enemy was gone
The devil was not seen
The angels were blessing
They greeted every faithful
Their faces were beautiful
He couldn't imagine how a wonderful!
Life was so easy
Ill was so away
Health is so fully
She would be told
That she would speak
She will surely talk
He will hear her
He was her faith love
She saw his roses fully
Colored and red clearly
The hearts would be showed  
 She saw every heart
She knew the best or the worst
She could feel who was the trust
At his speech and talk
Or one who spoke with liars
Their colors around their faces
Changed and could be noticed
She waved her hands
Telling in obvious movements,
" Why do not you follow me?
Here to live with me
Here at heaven with happy"
He said," Yes! Tell me!"
She said," That is easy!
Only jump at that holy
River crossing kindly
Come and touch it safely
You will not suffer again"
He said, " But I will get dead"
She said, " Why don't you greet me?
First, understand me
Second, heard me
I can talk and speak!"
He jumped up
The crowds felt with their hearts
That he might fall dawn word
The officer went and hurried
He returned with the old
She ran as she could
She said after she was told,
" Boy, don't hear that
Don't follow that
Who appeared was devil
Who came, was evil"
The crowd became greatest
The man stood at straight
Decided impotent thing
He would certainly jump
The crowd said at loud
The crowd was there in spite of cold   
The crowd was there in spite of time
In spite of unsafe at the land
They said, " Stop ,stop"
The most of them cried
 
      
When he looked at water
He saw her face smile
He could see her smile
Her sound was light
It was heard as a harmony
Come from a heart to heart
In direct, with clear way
He could see her brilliant
He understood, he understood
The old said, " Come don't look?
This is the devil
Wanted you to be in hell
They must not be heard"
He continued with sad in touch,
''I loved her much
I loved her than you
But she had gone
I know she was a above
At the high sky beside the sun
We surely will meet again
At the most justice one
This is our God
He ordered you to be patient
He ordered you to thank him
He ordered you to obey him"
He said," Who?
I knew myself at first
My luck was so dearest
And my way is the hardest
My time is the heaviest
And my life is the weakest
Why does he do that?"
The old said," Return to your God
You still alive
You had time
That is enough
To begin a new life
You still younger
You have a power
To be at the top
Of all your hope
Thank him for he creates
Thank him for your health
Thank him for he leads
You with her in holy tie
Between your hearts"
He said, "But she's gone
She was so far
Nonsense ,nonsense"
She said " No!
She is still at your heart
Come and obey your God
Help the poor one
And give the thanks to her soul
To reach above at the heaven
Be rich to spend money
To build a home for stateless
To build hospital for sick persons
To spread the happy for lovers
By helping them achieving their wishes
By helping them to be married
By chasing the sadness
Appearing at the orphans' faces
Cultivate the happy at the hearts
Surely you will gain it with success"

 Chapter 10 

The old woman said to him
With concerted eyes that reflect
The experience of days
Those may be best or worst
"Boy ,look to me
Gaze at me
I met all worst
My child who I cared
Him with love one and lived
At my home and accepted
My favor by putting
Me at older house
Then why he spent money
At the oldest woman
He said in frank
I was out by that
I found homeless
I lived her at street
My cover was the sky
My bed was the earth
My friends were the stars
My lovers were the dogs
Cats, mice and insects
We made a completely net
Of tied friends can't be cut
And I lived with hope
Of meeting my dearest
At my God up
And I will complain loud
To let all creatures hear sound
Come from deepest broken
Heart that can be repaired
And if you decide to be dead
Let's do it my truly child!"
She put her legs up
With great difficult
 After some failed
, she succeeded
To be up the wall and looked
She said with loud
" Oh !my lord
Be witness on my love
I love that guy as my child
And I will die with only him
As he deserved to do that
For lovely days and sweet"
The crowds got sad
They screamed loud
She tried to throw herself
The man ran to save
He said between his tears
" No, no my madam
Let be complete our days"
They both completely hanged
For long times and closed
Their eyes to see the heavens
Those appeared and were imagined
They could hear the angels
They believed that they were the best
They heard the calling for dawn prayer
Came from beside mosque
They entered to pray
And thanked God for save
When they were out
They met and shook
The old said," That is right
Remember me every light
Remember me at every pray
Remember me and smile"
She said with weaken voice,"
Let me for a while"
She stood beside
She leaned to the wall aside
She fell with silent
He called mom, mom aloud
She had actually dead
 
Chapter 11

He went very sad
What did he have
To get every bad
His wife was dead
His lovely old was gone
He must forget
He returned to drink
He forget his work
He forget the world will
He didn't forget her
He remember her
When he was prayer
But now he is drinker
He was late till morning's appear
It was morning prayer
He entered the nearest mosque
When he knelt, his mouth has a scent
That got from a wine drinker
The prayers beside him
Cried at his face
He was dismissed at once
He said," Why do Muslims do that?
I wanted to repent
They wanted only the heaven
I wanted also the hell
He returned to the wine shop
As he swore he would drink every drop
He found it was closed
He screamed," Why do you my God
Finish my life at once?
I wanted to repent
Your salves seemed to be elegance
The Muslims today wanted
To close the heavens in front
At anyone was farest
And open it for only themselves
I wanted the hell only closed
For only me without anyone"
He screamed loudly and cried
A hand was slightly moved
Over his shoulder and the sound
Heard nearest to his
He said," Come with me ,son!"
He look toward the sound
Seeing a man with a smile
His face was filling with light
The guy asked," Who are you?"
He  still smiled
He said in demureness,"
 I am the foreground of prayers"
The guy told his story
He smiled and said with obvious
,'' forgive their ignorance
They must learn you the rules
First, have good wash
Then have good smell
Not to harm anyone
Come with me to feed
You must have hunger"
He went with him
He washed and cleaned
He prayed and thanked
He eate the breakfast
And returned home
He returned to work
Everything was damaged
He rebuilt everything
He bought and sold
He got rich
When he drove his car
He found a smart one
He downed to get something
He was remarked and followed
Oh! She was an old lover
He remembered every good
They smiled and talked
He knew she divorced
He got married at once
Without asking
Why the divorce occurred?
The hurry is the worst
The hurry is not good
You may admire the apple
And it may have your end

Chapter 12

She gave him the love
He lived in good dream
Spending the time with happy
Till she asked him in assurance
To be manger of his work
He learnt her everything
Till she got the experience
She had every inch
He was suddenly dismissed
She asked the judge to divorce
As his shape was the worst
He was out with a friend
The poor which refused to be dismissed
He returned to drink
But the money was evaporated
He wanted money
He had to steal
One after one
He was jailed
The officer met him
The officer knew everything
The officer helped him
He was gotten money
He began from down
Till he became rich
He knew a neighbor
She was not smart but honest
She was not elegant but had heart
White and clear as milk
Blue in love as water
They were married
His life was continuous steps
Till his ex-wife met
She knew everything
She had the devil's heart
She was divorced again
After she returned to her ex  husband
She met him with her smart
She asked to get married
He told he would think
He accepted her demand
His condition was to marry
Her over the bridge
He would prepare the way
To be the fantastic marriage
They were hanged by two robes
 Far and swung over the bridge
The carrying was heavy winch
They would meet nearer
They would embrace over
And got kiss in longer
Till the boat came down
They will ascended at once
The media would be there
They would transport everywhere
She refused and feared
As she didn't know how to swim
She was persuade to go there
She was hanged over
As will as he hanged over
The boat suddenly appeared
He was descended there
 He went and left her
She screamed loudly
She felt that she got dead
She swung here and there
She feared that the robe may be cut
And she will downward
Her temper was fired
Her beauty was out
She screamed several times
Till the police came and downed
She told the police about
He was arrested
Then he go out
Free from another side
The frustrate is not bad
The frustrate is the success
The frustrate is the way
To achieve every word of victory
The despair appeared as a faint
The devil makes it grown up
Till you say everything is locked
Your hope is still here
Your hope is not far but near
 Look to the ant.
It can beat the elephant
The camel back may break
With small ash over its back
The high dam may be destroyed
Only by a water drop over
 The end
  




 


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